Yes, I Am That Pale.

No, it’s not scurvy.

Yes, I need a hot oil treatment or something.

Yes, my nose has been broken 3X.

No, it does not usually look like that of Robert Deniro’s at the end of the final fight sequence in “Raging Bull.”

Yes, though I am technically not gay, and currently do not believe that our commander-in-chief is doing his job quite as well as he ought to be, I’m sure there are some homophobic right-wing/conservative poopslingers out there that might be so inclined to mislabel me an “Obama Fag.”

No, I did not use the finger depicted to scribble that message on the red, crushed-velvet wall of the elevator in the Pacific Electric loft building.

Apparently some muttonheaded Palin poker left it there for me.

Nite Jewel “Let’s Go (The Two of Us Together)” Live at WIERD Records 2.3.10

Sounds like: A sloppy hot electro-funk soundtrack for sex in a bathroom stall.
Smells like: Cocaine and dancing lady sweat.

Nite Jewel - ‘Let’s Go (The Two of Us Together)’ Live at WIERD Records 2.03.10 from WIERD Records on Vimeo.

Where You Can Find Me Tonight // Yeasayer at The Natural History Museum

In the mean time check out this tasty remix of “Ambling Alp” by Alan Wilkis.

Sounds like:

The original, only fruitier,

The soundtrack to a lost scene from Beverly Hills Cop,

White people dancing (but in a good way),

Big-haired girls hanging out by a Ft. Lauderdale hotel pool in neon-colored singlet thongs,

or maybe even Rob Lowe’s hair in “Bad Influence” (though I’m not sure why).

JARON LANIER // YOU ARE NOT A GADGET

Yes, those are dreadlocks.

Yes, he lives in Berkeley.

Sure he looks exactly like the dude who sold you those bunk Bart Simpson tabs back at Electric Daisy Somethingorother in 1989/98, and rocks the oud as if anybody who actually listened to modern music knew what an oud was.

But this particular cyber-hippie’s also the “Father of Virtual Reality.” So listen and learn as Burning Man raps about modern humanism and the misdirection of the Google Gods current advertising strategy.

via Contagious.

For more on Lanier, check out his site or “Jaron Lanier: Loss of the virtual dream,” an interesting article from last month’s L.A. Times about Mr. Lanier’s beef with “cybernetic totalism.”

Snooki Interviews Phoenix

Vampire Weekend Plays La Blogotheque/Catapults French into Mad Clap Frenzy

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Skeletons

Ghosts in the graveyard…

Why Let Your Man Juice Go To Waste

When you can turn it into a scrumptious flan?

To learn how to cook up this yummy little number, and other fabulous semen-based treats, pick up your copy of Natural Harvest today!

*Thanks to Dirty Darren for the heads up.

Where You Can Find Me : St. Vincent at the El Rey L.A. 2/9

Check out Alan Del Rio Ortiz’ St. Vincent Tour Videos 01-05 below and then go get awesome and buy some tickets to the show.

01

St. Vincent Tour Videos // 01 from Alan Del Rio Ortiz on Vimeo.

02

St. Vincent Tour Videos // 02 from Alan Del Rio Ortiz on Vimeo.

03

St. Vincent Tour Videos // 03 from Alan Del Rio Ortiz on Vimeo.

04

St. Vincent Tour Videos // 04 from Alan Del Rio Ortiz on Vimeo.

05

St. Vincent Tour Videos // 05 from Alan Del Rio Ortiz on Vimeo.

To hear/see more of Saint Vincent on Sleep Never go HERE, to check out the official shit, hit their MYSPACE, or to see more of Zortz! work, check out “A Good Day To Me,” “Body Farm” or alandelrio.net.

Track of the Week : Vampire Weekend Does Radiohead “Exit Music (For A Film)”

Listen HERE.